How to Make Up and Win Back the Love of Your Life, Or Experience the Freedom to Let Them Go

Hello Heartbroken,

I heard you had been dumped, and I’m so sorry to hear this has happened to you again.

I say again for by now I’m sure you’re aware that a break-up is hardly ever a surprise event. Actually, the”rest of the story” behind the typical break-up goes all the way back to our toddler on the playground days…

As a toddler, what was the number one complaint made by one kid against another child or sibling? What caused one child to suddenly quit playing and run to dad or mom? Most likely, the charge was “he (or she) is not playing fair”

What usually happened then is that hard on the heels of the complainant would be the defendant who would just as indignantly asset “I was too playing fair – she (he) is just mad because I am better; and because I was winning.” A caring adult may use such an event as a teachable moment to help both children avoid their no win situation, and a child can actually try to become “fair.”

So it’s probable many people in relationships play fair, and its also probably true that those who don’t play fair are nevertheless convinced that they do…So in a nutshell people in relationships people either play fair or they don’t.

But people who don’t play fair have been defending themselves since their toddler days – so they are simply really good at it by the time they turn older – so the reality is that you are not going to get them to admit they cheat. So what do you do when you happen to be in a relationship with a cheat? Winfair88

Well, what did you do as a child with a cheat?

You either gritted your teeth and made the most of a game you realized you probably would not be allowed to win – or you took your stuff and went home – again.

What was the deal in your relationship – were you cheating? Had your mate been gritting their teeth and enduring a no-win situation?

On the other hand – were you living with a cheat in a relationship? If you have, and at some time in the past decided to endure a no-win situation – that would have left them with either of two choices. One, they could have quietly appreciated you for accepting them in spite of their unfair behavior.
Or in a uniquely strange and sinister way, they could have wished they hadn’t been stuck with a “patsy.”

However, one way or another, there are people in the world with whom you just can’t win…

Put differently, after the failure of some relationship you may simply need to experience the freedom to let a loved one go. That is not to say the pain is not going to be intense. But you may have needed to differentiate between an ambulance and a hearse.

Some relationships require healing, and an ambulance so as to get the proper treatment for the issues is needed. But then again, as in the case of some “no win” situations – a hearse and a burial may have to be the bitter way to go.

Never give up on what can be healed in a relationship, but by the same token, try to be realistic about the things in life that we may simply need to let go – mourn the loss – and move on. So pray and work for the miracle to win back the love of your life – but if and when they go – you may need to acquire the freedom to simply allow them to.


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